My hero. . .

Going though mixed emotions until finally residing on sorrow. June 25, 2009 at 3:15 PM Michael Jackson was pronounced dead at UCLA medical hospital after going into cardiac arrest. I feel as if I have lost someone very close to me. He was part of my inspiration, he was in my lyrics, part of my speeches, and he was in the way I dress; he had a piece of my heart! Say all you want but Michael Jackson was my hero! 

Although he is not physically here with us today he will live on. . . our children’s children will continue to let his words and sweet melodies roll off their tongue! They will play his music loud and tap their feet to the songs that play in their heads while at school, work, even lounging by the pool. They too will be influenced by him!

My sister used to tease me (and still do) about how I was so much like Mj. . . odd right, coming from a girl, but its true. . . I loved and still love him! Mj was more than just a music icon to me he was a mentor, he was a friend. He literally and honestly  changed my life as a child & always put a smile on that shy girl's face (which is me) & he didn't even know it. He taught me it's okay to be different & that I'm never alone! In a way he was part of my family! Wow. . .

I feel a weight on my heart. I’m speechless for the most part, I’m not to sure what to say; I want to say so much. . . but its killing me to even write about this. I have written songs just for the day when him and I are sitting side by side recording them. Some things I remember  is, as a child I dressed up as Mj for halloween & got made fun of by all the lil girls in princess, pink ranger costumes and crap. Oh and sheesh, I begged my mom for Bubbles... haha, I use to sneak my sister's cd player and sit on the playground at school and listen to nothing but MJ while all the other kids ran around and played they probably made fun of me for that too but I did not care not one bit! When I 1st watch him as Captain EO. . . sigh* I wished I was on that journey with him.. haha. As I got older his music still surrounded me. In high school I did reports, wrote plays, and had a fashion sense that read. . . Michael Jackson! My peers even went as far as calling me his daughter (haha) I consider myself blessed to witness and be apart of someone as great as Mj.

These aren't "man I'm so sensitive tears" I'm really hurt and sadden. There will never be another Michael Jackson. 

No one outside of my family has ever had an impact on me as an artist and as a child. He may have not lived a long life. . . but he LIVED HIS LIFE! God said son you have worked hard, touched so many life's, change many minds, inspired every artist, brought happiness & love to everyone and made music that will live on forever; its time to come home now, so he is home now. . . 

Michael, I want to thank you for all that you have done and continue to do for me! You were an extraordinary man and you will live on forever in music, in my heart and mind. It was windy outside on the 25th of June and it seemed like the wind stop for a moment of silence for you. . . perhaps it did! Rest in Peace Michael Jackson, you are missed!